Is Parent Self-Care Selfish?

Self-care is an important part of being a parent, however it is often overlooked. Parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster, filled with love, joy, and sometimes... worry. As parents, we often find ourselves caught in a loop of "What if?" and "Am I doing enough?" In a world where parenting seems to demand constant attention and presence, it’s easy to feel guilty about prioritising yourself.

Watch this video and read below to learn some practical strategies to overcome the 

• Fear of being selfish
• Fear of being judged
• Fear of missing out

Here are three common worries that might resonate with you, and some practical ways to shift your mindset and actions.

1. Fear of Being Selfish

"Am I being selfish if I take time for myself?"

This is one of the most common concerns parents have. The thought that self-care might be selfish is ingrained in many of us, especially when we are led to believe that being a "good parent" means being available to our children 24/7. However, this belief can lead to burnout, resentment, and even a decline in the quality of the time you spend with your children.

The Reality: Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. You can't pour from an empty cup. When you take time to recharge, you’re not only benefiting yourself, but you’re also setting an example for your children about the importance of looking after your own wellbeing. This can make you a more present, patient, and loving parent.

Practical Examples:

• Daily Micro-Breaks: Even 5 minutes of deep breathing or a short walk can reset your mindset and energy levels.
• Scheduled Self-Care Time: Where possible block out at least 15-30 minutes each day for something that rejuvenates you—reading, journaling, or even a cup of tea in peace.
• Weekly "Me Time" Rituals: Whether it's a hobby, a class, or an hour with a good book, having regular time for yourself can help maintain balance.

2. Fear of Being Judged

"What will others think if I prioritise my wellbeing?"

The fear of judgment can be paralysing. We may worry about what family, friends, or even strangers might think if they see us taking time for ourselves. The fear that we might be labeled as "self-centred" is very real.

The Reality: The only opinion that truly matters is yours. You are the expert on your own life and what your family needs. Prioritising self-care doesn’t mean you are neglecting your child; it means you are taking responsibility for your own wellbeing so you can better care for those you love.

Practical Examples:

• Set Boundaries: Let your friends and family know when you’re unavailable and explain why it’s important to you. Most people will respect your honesty.
• Find Your Support People: Surround yourself with people who understand the value of self-care. Engage in communities, either online or in-person, where self-care is celebrated, not judged.
• Lead by Example: Share your self-care practices and their benefits. You might inspire other parents to take steps toward prioritising their own wellbeing.

3. Fear of Missing Out 

"What if I focus on myself and miss an important moment or my child needs me?"

The fear of missing out on precious moments with your child is understandable. Many parents fear that taking time away from their child could mean missing a milestone or not being there when needed. However, constantly being on high alert without any downtime leads to exhaustion, which can dull your ability to truly savour those special moments.

The Reality: The fear of missing out is real, but so is burnout. Taking even small moments for self-care can help you show up more fully and enjoy those special moments with your child. Children benefit from seeing their parents take care of themselves because it teaches them the importance of balance and resilience.

Practical Examples:

• Mindful Moments: If you're feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, focus on being fully present during the time you are with your child. Quality often matters more than quantity.
• Incorporate Your Child: If you feel anxious about being apart, find activities that serve as self-care for both of you, like a nature walk, yoga, or a quiet reading time together.
• Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of thinking of self-care time as "time away" from your child, see it as "time invested" in becoming the best parent you can be.

The Takeaway: Embracing Self-Care as Part of Your Parenting Journey

These worries are valid and common, but they don’t have to control your parenting journey.

At The Parent Oasis, I believe in the power of self-care for both you, your child, and your family. Self-care is not about escaping your responsibilities; it's about creating the best version of yourself to navigate them more effectively.

Remember, a well-rested, content, and balanced parent can bring more patience, joy, and stability to their child's life. Prioritise your wellbeing, and see the positive ripple effect it creates within your family.

Follow me for more ideas and strategies to help you find balance and support in your parenting journey. Your wellbeing is the foundation of your family's wellbeing.